Running

I used to think that running away was based solely on personal fears; fear of being hurt, foremost. I used to think people would run away because they were scared of something bad happening, which boiled down to them being afraid of risking or committing to something or someone. I used to think that I ran away to protect myself, to let myself heal. But things have changed.

I find now that I've grown older and relationships have become more complicated. While some things get easier, other things get harder. For example, while it may be easier to ask and take a pretty girl out on a date, it is more complicated when it comes to where things are going, how you get along, what your personalities are like. The standard list of adjectives, while still being applicable, is no longer the basis of conduct. A girl can be beautiful, fun, exciting, nerdy, playful, smart, what-have-you, and still somehow lack that intangible force that attracts two people together (or, as seems more often than not these days, one person to another). The same applies to the opposite. A girl can be crazy, indecisive, insecure, secluded, even abusive, and there can still remain something, some intangible something, that grants that girl a special place in our hearts. I digress. Things have changed. Where once I ran to escape somebody, now I run to remove myself. Where once I ran to protect myself, now I run to protect another.

Even still, I wonder if people run away because they are scared for themselves. Perhaps they are scared for someone else. I know I don't mind getting hurt. I'd rather they didn't run away from me. Perhaps I should assume the same about them and stand my ground.

The birds are singing. Time to switch shifts. Dream time.