God's Playbook

So, I've been thinking about God and what a total bastard He is. I mean this in the most endearing way possible, because, quite frankly, He's good at what he does. He especially likes to fuck with me when it comes to the ladies. If they're not married or leaving me for someone else or disappearing completely or giving me the bait and switch or just completely reluctant, there is always something else God will think of to make my life miserable.

However, He hasn't directly played the lesbian angle. This really surprises me. Perhaps it is entirely too much of a roadblock for me. If a girl is a lesbian then there is no reason whatsoever that we should be together, so the problem is solved before it starts.

But what I really have here is a challenge for God. Yes, you heard me. I challenge you, God.

Send to me one gorgeous bisexual girl to which I will connect on a multitude of levels, wait for me to fall for her, then pull the rug out (to fit with your style, far after it is way too late to go back; probably after a number of occasions of one or more levels of intimacy) and have her ex-girlfriend move back from LA and have the girl (who is now so emotionally open with me that she is comfortable talking to me about something like this) tell me that she wants her girlfriend back. You'll put me in a tough spot and even if I do try and sabotage things, have the ex-girlfriend want the girl back too, so there is nothing I can do. Then put me in the spot of the supportive best friend of a girl I am emotionally intimate with and her equally attractive girlfriend. Now, remember, the key to the success of this plan is that the girls must be completely monogamous. No threesomes. Unless you have a really good followup for that one. I'll let you play around with that one.

God has thrown everything else at me, and this would be the ultimate miserable, torturous situation. If it doesn't happen, logically I can conclude that lesbians are not in God's Playbook.

That's my challenge to you, God.


P.S. We both know who would be a perfect candidate. The history only compounds things. Well, there would be two great candidates, but I don't know if you have lesbification powers.