Response to "No News is Good News"

I was going to respond in the comments, but it started getting so lengthy that I think it will make a better post than a comment.

I didn't really know what to tag it with. It's nothing serious, though. Just the same old shit. Though through this experience I believe I have some insight on what it might be like to be mentally challenged. I always wondered what it would feel like to know that you have a mental disorder. How do you deal with it? How do you respond when something triggers it? Can't you control it if you know it's going to happen? It's really the strangest feeling.

It's like taking a giant step in understanding the meaning of life. It actually reminds me of Donnie Darko now that I really think about it. We all have a path, "God's channel" as Donnie puts it. We can manipulate the events that occur as long as we follow this destined path.

I guess there's just really no point in fighting it.

The Oracle at Wendy's

So, I went to Wendy's for dinner tonight. The girl at the till was cute, efficient, and very friendly. That in and of itself made the visit memorable.

I sat down in one of the lonesome corners of the restaurant to eat. From across the restaurant I heard a voice say, "I know him. I know him."

I was amused and wondered if perhaps I was known by someone in the dining area. I didn't know anyone, but maybe someone knew me. Perhaps, I thought, someone knew me without ever meeting me before. Perhaps someone was telepathic.

I always liked the idea of someone being telepathic. The idea that someone can know you inside and out and you have no control over it is both scary and refreshing. Secrets are like life in that sense. Sure, you should protect them, but you can't stop a telepath any more than you can stop the Grim Reaper. So why not think your thoughts? Why not communicate via your brain. It's not like it's embarrassing, because either no one is telepathic and you're just thinking, or someone is telepathic and you're communicating with them.

So I thought to myself,'What if he knew my name? Maybe he could be telepathic. Maybe that's how he knows me. Give me a signal if you know me. Give me a message that you understand. Give me some sort of sign.'

Nothing. We all continued to eat.

My mind moved on. I was texting around and having some laughs. And in the middle of a text, I hear a child nearby say 'goodbye.' It was the voice who knew me. Right there at the edge of my table was this 6-year old child who walked across the restaurant away from his family to say goodbye to me and no one else. I smiled and said goodbye to him too. He said to me, "My friend is in black car," in the way that children tell you the important things in their life, like "I'm real good at soccer," or "I have a Batman;" they have the calmest enthusiasm ever. I didn't understand, so I asked him where his friend was again.

"I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"He's in black car."

That's when his slightly older sister came to collect him. The boy refused to leave, his tiny hands locked onto the edge of the table. He just looked at me. As brief as the moment had been the moment ended when his mother called from the aisle that it was time to stop bothering the nice man.

"Bye."

I know it sounds ominoius and eerie, but it didn't sound like that at the time. He was just talking in the wonderfully happy, matter-of-fact kind of way that young children do. But why me? Why from all the way across the room? I never even acknowledged him when he said he knew me.

I don't know who is in the black car, but that's the sign.

God's Playbook

So, I've been thinking about God and what a total bastard He is. I mean this in the most endearing way possible, because, quite frankly, He's good at what he does. He especially likes to fuck with me when it comes to the ladies. If they're not married or leaving me for someone else or disappearing completely or giving me the bait and switch or just completely reluctant, there is always something else God will think of to make my life miserable.

However, He hasn't directly played the lesbian angle. This really surprises me. Perhaps it is entirely too much of a roadblock for me. If a girl is a lesbian then there is no reason whatsoever that we should be together, so the problem is solved before it starts.

But what I really have here is a challenge for God. Yes, you heard me. I challenge you, God.

Send to me one gorgeous bisexual girl to which I will connect on a multitude of levels, wait for me to fall for her, then pull the rug out (to fit with your style, far after it is way too late to go back; probably after a number of occasions of one or more levels of intimacy) and have her ex-girlfriend move back from LA and have the girl (who is now so emotionally open with me that she is comfortable talking to me about something like this) tell me that she wants her girlfriend back. You'll put me in a tough spot and even if I do try and sabotage things, have the ex-girlfriend want the girl back too, so there is nothing I can do. Then put me in the spot of the supportive best friend of a girl I am emotionally intimate with and her equally attractive girlfriend. Now, remember, the key to the success of this plan is that the girls must be completely monogamous. No threesomes. Unless you have a really good followup for that one. I'll let you play around with that one.

God has thrown everything else at me, and this would be the ultimate miserable, torturous situation. If it doesn't happen, logically I can conclude that lesbians are not in God's Playbook.

That's my challenge to you, God.


P.S. We both know who would be a perfect candidate. The history only compounds things. Well, there would be two great candidates, but I don't know if you have lesbification powers.