Beards: The Public Pubic Hair?

Okay, okay, I know you're all thinking "but you have a beard. And more importantly, I have a beard!"

This is largely true (some of you may not be able to grow beards). But let's look at the facts, shall we?

1. Beards and pubic hair both start growing at puberty.
2. Beard hair is unlike head hair, much like pubic hair is unlike head hair.
3. Both yield a very good scratch when you have an itch.
4. You can experiment with making fun designs in them.
5. Proper maintenance is important.

Now you're thinking "yeah, okay, maybe, I guess. But it still doesn't sound very good." And, if you're a woman, you- I'm sorry, first let me welcome you to the blog - if you're a woman you're possibly thinking "but I don't like beards."

Here's what the problem is. A man grows a beard at puberty and separates himself from the boys. A woman grows pubic hair at puberty and separates herself from the girls. By removing the hair of our puberty we only attempt to emulate our childhood. First off, how sick is that?! We all know that every man is some percentage of a paedophile. If you say you've never looked at an underaged girl you're lying or a woman. But what about the women that desire men to emulate prepubescent boys? If a woman said that she shaved her pubic hair because it was expected of her we would be outraged, right? Who is a man to expect a woman to shave to look like a prepubescent girl? Yet women have conjured up this social expectation that men should have to remove their beards. What's worse is that some men reinforce this idea!

Now, I'm not saying that I'm opposed to anyone's removal of any of their hair (other than entire eyebrows... I just don't get that) but no one, man or woman, should feel obligated to remove a natural part of their adulthood, nor should anyone be told that they need to, or even that they should.

Now, I know what you women are thinking. First of all, I'd like to thank you for reading this far. Not only am I excited to have your readership, but look forward to seeing some feedback in the comments.

But like I was saying, I know you women are thinking "but we put our faces on your face and it's itchy/scratchy/krusty etc. You don't put your f-"


Oh really?

I've had just about enough of this

So, I'm reading this essay by a crazy feminist for this paper I have to write. She claims that a book about a man doesn't go in depth enough into women's lives. Quite frankly, ma'am, shut the fuck up. She completely overlooks the fact that the narrative is a perspective and that perspective is of the main characters, and if you were capable in the least of any free thought you would understand the ironies. This probably doesn't make much sense if you don't know what I'm talking about. The book is called Things Fall Apart, if you care to know, but that's not what I'm here to write about.

What I want to talk about is the use of the term "woman" as a derogatory term. On the surface, it makes sense. When a man calls another man a woman, one might ask "and what is so wrong about being a woman?" Well, there's nothing wrong with being a woman except, you know, he's a man! Why is this so hard for people to understand? They see the other side of it. Women don't want to be called "manly." And if they do, they're missing the insult and that's the real shame. Women who want to be men aren't examples of strong women, they are examples of women who are ashamed to be women. And that is the problem. Hence, if women wanting to be men is a problem, then men wanting to be men (and not women) is not a problem.

So, tell me, butch lesbians of feminism (what? you don't like being called butch lesbians? why not? is there something wrong with being a butch lesbian?) how is calling a man a woman insulting to women but calling a woman a man isn't insulting to men?

Seriously, people gotta understand this gender dichotomy again. Equality doesn't require things to be the same.