Beards: The Public Pubic Hair?

Okay, okay, I know you're all thinking "but you have a beard. And more importantly, I have a beard!"

This is largely true (some of you may not be able to grow beards). But let's look at the facts, shall we?

1. Beards and pubic hair both start growing at puberty.
2. Beard hair is unlike head hair, much like pubic hair is unlike head hair.
3. Both yield a very good scratch when you have an itch.
4. You can experiment with making fun designs in them.
5. Proper maintenance is important.

Now you're thinking "yeah, okay, maybe, I guess. But it still doesn't sound very good." And, if you're a woman, you- I'm sorry, first let me welcome you to the blog - if you're a woman you're possibly thinking "but I don't like beards."

Here's what the problem is. A man grows a beard at puberty and separates himself from the boys. A woman grows pubic hair at puberty and separates herself from the girls. By removing the hair of our puberty we only attempt to emulate our childhood. First off, how sick is that?! We all know that every man is some percentage of a paedophile. If you say you've never looked at an underaged girl you're lying or a woman. But what about the women that desire men to emulate prepubescent boys? If a woman said that she shaved her pubic hair because it was expected of her we would be outraged, right? Who is a man to expect a woman to shave to look like a prepubescent girl? Yet women have conjured up this social expectation that men should have to remove their beards. What's worse is that some men reinforce this idea!

Now, I'm not saying that I'm opposed to anyone's removal of any of their hair (other than entire eyebrows... I just don't get that) but no one, man or woman, should feel obligated to remove a natural part of their adulthood, nor should anyone be told that they need to, or even that they should.

Now, I know what you women are thinking. First of all, I'd like to thank you for reading this far. Not only am I excited to have your readership, but look forward to seeing some feedback in the comments.

But like I was saying, I know you women are thinking "but we put our faces on your face and it's itchy/scratchy/krusty etc. You don't put your f-"


Oh really?

We're paying for WHAT?!

Apparently we've been paying for sex-change operations for years! Now, I need to come right out and say this now: I am not opposed to people having these operations. You want to be a girl? Be a girl. You want to be a boy? Be a boy. Gender isn't as restrictive as it used to be and we should be free to take advantage of that without prejudice. That being said, why the fuck are we paying for it?! I'm no mathematician, but 18-70G per operation times roughly 20 people a year is anywhere from $360 000 to $1.4 million dollars every year. Forget programs to reintegrate the homeless into society. Fuck updating highschool textbooks from the 60s. Hell, let's ignore hiring more police or funding hospitals' emergency care. Marc wants to become Marcy and we need to pay for him/her to do it.

I understand that nowadays that isn't exactly a backbreaking amount of money for the government, but there are plenty of other things we could be spending that money on! Not to mention, why do I have to pay for other people to change the way they are because they're not satisfied with their body? I don't pay people to go to the gym. I don't pay people to eat properly. I don't pay for people to shop. The bottom line is that I don't pay for other people's vanity (unless we're going out...). So why is it so important that we "reassign" people their genders?

If you want to do it, go ahead and do it. But don't be looking for a handout. Especially not now.