So, I'm watching Family Guy the other day and I came to the conclusion that the show only contains one joke.
"Hey, you know when someone does something and the moment lasts for a short time?"
"Yeah."
"What if that happened for an unusually long period of time?"
"Ha ha ha!"
"- ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha-"
"Okay, Seth, I get it."
"- ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha-"
"No, really, shut the fuck up."
"-ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha-"
Wait for it.
"-ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"
Keep waiting.
"-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh-"
You can see where I'm going with this.
"-hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... "
If you're laughing, punch yourself in the face right now for me.
Thank you.
That is the formula for the majority of the "comedy" air-time on that show. This includes those exchanges between characters where they both stutter and interrupt one another in an awkward denouement to a conversation. This interestingly parallels the show. The joke is analogous to the show itself. They take a concept that is amusing at first and extend it to a point where it is even funnier. Then they take it to a point where it is no longer funny. Then to a point where it is annoying. Then to a point where it is frustrating. Then to a point where it is - Look at me, I could write for the fucking show.
Think back to when your read the sample conversation I wrote earlier. You didn't read each one of those "ha's". You skimmed the first line, maybe, and the second line you got the fucking point. The third line you just assumed. It's the same as the joke. There is no punchline.
If comedy is like getting your ass kicked by comedy, Family Guy misses the mark. Comedy fights in many ways. British comedies fight like old-timey boxers; sometimes lots of quick and subtle jabs, definitely lots of footwork to set you up, and it both takes itself seriously and is just plain silly at the same time. Primetime comedies are like modern boxing matches; they hit harder, but don't set you up as well (it also can result in hugging). Most of your late-night comedies are like kick-boxing; a fast paced version for boxing that hits you where you don't see it coming. Your average sit-com is like a WWE wrestling match; the whole things is pre-planned, formulaic, and entirely staged. Family Guy is like being smothered with a greasy pig carcass.
But America loves it.
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Friday, August 27, 2010
Monday, November 16, 2009
David Hume Can Suck, comma, a Dick.
It has come to my attention that the creators of Malcolm in the Middle have based one of their characters on one of the most noteworthy philosophers of the last half millennium.
Though one might not see the obvious resemblance of David Hume in the popular sit-com character Stevie, it is clear that the dialogue of the character was modelled after Hume's own work.
Here's an example:
Skip to 3:50 to hear how I read Hume in my head.
Though one might not see the obvious resemblance of David Hume in the popular sit-com character Stevie, it is clear that the dialogue of the character was modelled after Hume's own work.Here's an example:
Hence we may discover the reason, why no philosopher, who is rational and modest, has pretended to assign the ultimate cause of any natural operation, or to show distinctly the action of that power, which produces any single effect in the universe. It is confessed, that the utmost effort of human reason is, to reduce the principles, productive of natural phenomena, to a greater simplicity, and to resolve the many particular effects into a few general cases, by means of reasoning from analogy, experience, and observation.That has twice as many commas as necessary. They don't even make sense! It's like he puts in a comma to breathe.
Skip to 3:50 to hear how I read Hume in my head.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Girls are like Subatomic Particles
I can't decide whether they are more like protons or electrons...
Like electrons, they historically go one way, but in reality go the opposite way. Also, they are attracted to protons, but always keep a distance by moving. And finally, like electrons, you can't keep track of a girl.
However, girls are also like protons. They hang around in clusters and prefer the company of neutrons; the "support" particles that are otherwise useless and might as well be protons themselves without the properties of protons. Electrons swarm around protons at various and complicated levels away from them and, given the right motivation, can jump from level to level.
My final thoughts...
This is the kind of thing science nerds think about. They draw similarities between scientific fact and incomprehensible nature to allow them to better understand. For scientifically oriented guys, science will always be an easier concept than women. The Big Bang Theory should be taking notes.
Like electrons, they historically go one way, but in reality go the opposite way. Also, they are attracted to protons, but always keep a distance by moving. And finally, like electrons, you can't keep track of a girl.
However, girls are also like protons. They hang around in clusters and prefer the company of neutrons; the "support" particles that are otherwise useless and might as well be protons themselves without the properties of protons. Electrons swarm around protons at various and complicated levels away from them and, given the right motivation, can jump from level to level.
My final thoughts...
This is the kind of thing science nerds think about. They draw similarities between scientific fact and incomprehensible nature to allow them to better understand. For scientifically oriented guys, science will always be an easier concept than women. The Big Bang Theory should be taking notes.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
The Big Bang Theory
Okay, so I've heard varying opinions on this show and I figured it was high time I gave it a try.
I hate jumping into the middle of things, so I started at the beginning with the pilot which my best mate absolutely hated. And I concur. It was entirely too convoluted. Much of the science (which seems to be the big selling point to what I assume are non-scientists that want to look smart when they laugh at the "jokes") is taken way too far. Sheldon, the tall, skinny, socially inept "nerd," tends to spend most of his time expressing the logic inadequacy of human social interaction. In other words, he's a twat. I understand that his role is to hamper the honest main character, Leonard, but the secondary characters Howard (a self professed intellectual/loverboy) and Raj (who can't talk to girls).
Howard and Raj, the secondary characters, although extreme representations of actual personality types, are acceptable as over-the-top backup characters. Sheldon, however, appears to be entirely asexual, meaning that his interactions with Penny (the fulcrum of the story, God help us) are distant and standoffish. Furthermore, his interactions with his roommate begs the question why these two are even friends. I understand that Leonard needs friends. Howard is a total loser, but he brings a popular order of fun to the table (World of Warcraft, DDR, etc.). Raj is a down-to-earth friend to Leonard who, like many nerds, feels (
and in this case physically is to make a point) unable to talk to girls (however, this fact is belaboured by reiteration). Leonard needs these friends. Sheldon, on the other hand, irritates Leonard and is the root of activities which Leonard is ashamed to admit that he participates in (if this was gay sex it would explain everything, not to mention make this show worth watching).
I may come back to Sheldon. He really bothers me.
Leonard seems to be trapped between a realistic portrayal of science fiction oriented intellectual and the description of "nerd" as presented by a wannabe frat boy that never made it into science or sports who just happened to open that science textbook under his can of Bud Light.
He draws constant scientific analogies making sure to clearly state the discoverer of a particular theorem, he uses a lightsaber as a weapon and a flashlight, he plays Klingon Boggle, and is shy around the word "sex" but not the concept of copulation. This could easily be rectified if he showed the audience that he understood that his discourse with Penny, when scientifically charged and irrelevant, was inappropriate; just little asides from time to time: "Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle? Really?!" After all, he is supposed to have slightly better social skills than Sheldon.
The quick fix to Leonard and Sheldon is that they have to make science jokes for each other, not for the audience (who I promise don't get it... because there is nothing to get. Seriously, it's like,
But back to the characters. Penny! What's her deal? "Ha ha, just ignore the big words... Keep smiling and wear low cut shirts and everyone will like me!" Seriously, girl. You don't need to have a Ph.D. but show a little bit of intelligence. What she needs to overlook is that Leonard and Sheldon don't understand how to carry out a normal conversation with a girl, not overlook their intelligence. When they get talking science, she doesn't need to pretend it's not happening, she needs to bring the boys back to normal conversation... exactly like that: "Boys! *hand lowers from eye level to chin level* Let's bring it back down to here, okay?" And then Leonard can smarten the fuck up and talk to her like a normal person.
I've blended the first episode into the second, so I'll make my distinction here. Episode 2 was less bad. I still didn't like it, but it wasn't near the total car crash that was the pilot (who produced that shit?!). It looks like maybe it will pick up a bit, but I have two major problems so far (besides the premise, characters, inapproprite gender representation and stereotypes, and the tasteless use of stereotypes of intellectuals... I don't have a list, but I should):
I hate jumping into the middle of things, so I started at the beginning with the pilot which my best mate absolutely hated. And I concur. It was entirely too convoluted. Much of the science (which seems to be the big selling point to what I assume are non-scientists that want to look smart when they laugh at the "jokes") is taken way too far. Sheldon, the tall, skinny, socially inept "nerd," tends to spend most of his time expressing the logic inadequacy of human social interaction. In other words, he's a twat. I understand that his role is to hamper the honest main character, Leonard, but the secondary characters Howard (a self professed intellectual/loverboy) and Raj (who can't talk to girls).Howard and Raj, the secondary characters, although extreme representations of actual personality types, are acceptable as over-the-top backup characters. Sheldon, however, appears to be entirely asexual, meaning that his interactions with Penny (the fulcrum of the story, God help us) are distant and standoffish. Furthermore, his interactions with his roommate begs the question why these two are even friends. I understand that Leonard needs friends. Howard is a total loser, but he brings a popular order of fun to the table (World of Warcraft, DDR, etc.). Raj is a down-to-earth friend to Leonard who, like many nerds, feels (
and in this case physically is to make a point) unable to talk to girls (however, this fact is belaboured by reiteration). Leonard needs these friends. Sheldon, on the other hand, irritates Leonard and is the root of activities which Leonard is ashamed to admit that he participates in (if this was gay sex it would explain everything, not to mention make this show worth watching).I may come back to Sheldon. He really bothers me.
Leonard seems to be trapped between a realistic portrayal of science fiction oriented intellectual and the description of "nerd" as presented by a wannabe frat boy that never made it into science or sports who just happened to open that science textbook under his can of Bud Light.
He draws constant scientific analogies making sure to clearly state the discoverer of a particular theorem, he uses a lightsaber as a weapon and a flashlight, he plays Klingon Boggle, and is shy around the word "sex" but not the concept of copulation. This could easily be rectified if he showed the audience that he understood that his discourse with Penny, when scientifically charged and irrelevant, was inappropriate; just little asides from time to time: "Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle? Really?!" After all, he is supposed to have slightly better social skills than Sheldon.The quick fix to Leonard and Sheldon is that they have to make science jokes for each other, not for the audience (who I promise don't get it... because there is nothing to get. Seriously, it's like,
"Rutherford's gold foil experiment?! I remember that shit from high school, dude! Ha ha! Funny funny shit, man..."No, it's not fucking funny!). People that are actually scientifically inclined will make jokes that other people won't get. And here's the kicker: the characters have to laugh, not the laugh track. Science is rarely situationally funny; it is implicitly funny.
"He was talking about laundry."
"Yeah, but Rutherford... it's, heh, funny. Right?"
But back to the characters. Penny! What's her deal? "Ha ha, just ignore the big words... Keep smiling and wear low cut shirts and everyone will like me!" Seriously, girl. You don't need to have a Ph.D. but show a little bit of intelligence. What she needs to overlook is that Leonard and Sheldon don't understand how to carry out a normal conversation with a girl, not overlook their intelligence. When they get talking science, she doesn't need to pretend it's not happening, she needs to bring the boys back to normal conversation... exactly like that: "Boys! *hand lowers from eye level to chin level* Let's bring it back down to here, okay?" And then Leonard can smarten the fuck up and talk to her like a normal person.I've blended the first episode into the second, so I'll make my distinction here. Episode 2 was less bad. I still didn't like it, but it wasn't near the total car crash that was the pilot (who produced that shit?!). It looks like maybe it will pick up a bit, but I have two major problems so far (besides the premise, characters, inapproprite gender representation and stereotypes, and the tasteless use of stereotypes of intellectuals... I don't have a list, but I should):
- The intro. Jesus Christ is it bad. The flashy images don't even come close to matching the tempo of the music and is that Ed from BNL singing? Steven Page went to jail for possession of cocaine, but Ed truly sullied the name of the Barenaked Ladies if that's him.
The absolute crap commercial break CG atom thing. What the fuck is that? And what the fuck is this, the 1980s Lite? If you're going to tell me when a commercial is coming, at least have a member of the cast introduce the sponsors. Or, you know, fade to black like every normal fucking person! It's the little things.- I'm taking it one more subconcious level. Music. Where is it? It's distractingly absent. Listen to a show like Friends one time. When there is a scene change, there is a little music clip that automaticaly sets the mood. In fact, most every memorable TV series has some sort of music that is integrated into the show. Obviously the theme song is the bread in an awesome sandwich, but when you eat it (and thus actually enjoy it and digest it) the bread mixes with the meat of the sandwich and all the other necessary components. The Big Bang Theory is like a fiberglass sandwich and the music is the drywall that keeps it together. I suppose it keeps the network comfortable, but it does not feed the audience. I, for one, am hungry for entertainment.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Rocker, Texas Ranger
Okay, so we came up with this idea, see? It's called Rocker, Texas Ranger.
Rocker, Texas Ranger is a teen serial drama, similar to the O.C., only the C stands for Comedy, and the O stands for Outrageous.
Dwayne Johnson as Dwayne "Rocker" Johnson
Danielle Fishel as Rocker's Girlfriend
Jason Bateman as Rocker's Dad/ The High School Counsellor
Dame Judi Dench as The Philosophical Gym Teacher
Justin Timberlake as The Basketball Coach
Danny Glover as The Maths Professor
Scarlett Johansson as The Librarian with a Moustache
Bill Nighy as The English Teacher
Ben Stein as The Principal
Guest Stars:
Hayden Panettiere as the Cheerleader
Aerosmith as The Rock Band
Chuck Norris as The Big Brother
Fall Out Boy as The Emo Band
Morena Baccarin as The Temptation
Neil Patrick Harris as the Superintendent
Red Hot Chili Peppers as The Funk Band
Winona Ryder as Rocker's Mom
If you're trying to get an idea of how these characters would be played, think Outrageous. After all, it stars The Rock as a high school sophomore.
The rant part of this. It took us a twenty minute walk to school to devise this travesty/masterpiece. "No one would ever watch this show!" you might say, but think about this: Hannah Montana. That Zack and Cody show. Family Guy. CSI (name your version). American Dad (Family Guy II, or The Other Family Guy). These shows range from not great to absolute shit, but still they are on the air.
Then think about shows like Firefly, Mission Hill, Clone High, Undergrads, Futurama, Arrested Development, Dead Like Me, Quantum Leap, Clerks... the list goes on! Great shows that weren't given a chance to go on.
Finally, I want you to think about the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Boy Meets World, Home Improvement, That 70's Show (early seasons), and Seinfeld. Remember shows that were about kids and teenagers and absolutely nothing? Those were the good old days.
I'm not saying that Rocker, Texas Ranger is TV gold (only it is! How could you go wrong?), but it took us 20 minutes to come up with that. I realize that there is a severe issue with attempting to sign all of these people, but you could take the actors and extrapolate characters from them and wham-bam, you have a story.
Rocker, Texas Ranger is a teen serial drama, similar to the O.C., only the C stands for Comedy, and the O stands for Outrageous.
- Rocker is in high school and is a drummer, only not a good drummer.
- Throughout the story, Rocker meets up with fellow high school bands played by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Fall Out Boy, and Aerosmith (whom he finally joins at the end of season 1)
- Rocker's father, Dad (Jason Bateman), is a single parent and also the high school counsellor
- Rocker has issues with his father, but seeks help from the only person available: the counsellor.
- Rocker has a long time girlfriend, but is once tempted by the Temptress.
Dwayne Johnson as Dwayne "Rocker" Johnson
Danielle Fishel as Rocker's Girlfriend
Jason Bateman as Rocker's Dad/ The High School Counsellor
Dame Judi Dench as The Philosophical Gym Teacher
Justin Timberlake as The Basketball Coach
Danny Glover as The Maths Professor
Scarlett Johansson as The Librarian with a Moustache
Bill Nighy as The English Teacher
Ben Stein as The Principal
Guest Stars:
Hayden Panettiere as the Cheerleader
Aerosmith as The Rock Band
Chuck Norris as The Big Brother
Fall Out Boy as The Emo Band
Morena Baccarin as The Temptation
Neil Patrick Harris as the Superintendent
Red Hot Chili Peppers as The Funk Band
Winona Ryder as Rocker's Mom
If you're trying to get an idea of how these characters would be played, think Outrageous. After all, it stars The Rock as a high school sophomore.
The rant part of this. It took us a twenty minute walk to school to devise this travesty/masterpiece. "No one would ever watch this show!" you might say, but think about this: Hannah Montana. That Zack and Cody show. Family Guy. CSI (name your version). American Dad (Family Guy II, or The Other Family Guy). These shows range from not great to absolute shit, but still they are on the air.
Then think about shows like Firefly, Mission Hill, Clone High, Undergrads, Futurama, Arrested Development, Dead Like Me, Quantum Leap, Clerks... the list goes on! Great shows that weren't given a chance to go on.
Finally, I want you to think about the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Boy Meets World, Home Improvement, That 70's Show (early seasons), and Seinfeld. Remember shows that were about kids and teenagers and absolutely nothing? Those were the good old days.
I'm not saying that Rocker, Texas Ranger is TV gold (only it is! How could you go wrong?), but it took us 20 minutes to come up with that. I realize that there is a severe issue with attempting to sign all of these people, but you could take the actors and extrapolate characters from them and wham-bam, you have a story.
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