Okay, I probably am racist

I was watching videos on the internet about why science is important, and I realized that I drew a very unscientific conclusion. After all, correlation does not imply causation. There were quite a number of variables to consider. First of all, the sample size of "people who have been working in my house" is rather narrow. In fact, for my argument, I can think of no one that I have actually witnessed working in my grandparents' home while I was the only one there. This reduces my sample size to 2. There is a good likelihood that only one of them stole it, which means logically the groups of people that are open to discrimination are men, women, Mexicans, cleaning people, people that work in uniform, people that are older than me, and a vast number of other minor descriptors that could be used to separate these people from other people.

So, I apologize to Mexico. But if you could, try and impose some shame on those cleaners. They're giving people the wrong idea.

I'm not racist

But seriously, guys, if you want to break stereotypes, stop FUCKING STEALING SHIT!

So, the other day I got my carpets cleaned. I moved all the furniture into the other room so the floors were open. On one of the desks was an little angel statue with a ring sitting on top of its head. These were two of the artifacts left over from past girlfriends.

I sat in the kitchen and let them do their shit. They finish the job and go home. I think 'great, that just cost $200 for an hour's worth of work. I wish I could get paid $100 an hour, especially in this economic state. I'm glad they're doing well for themselves, though.'

Not well enough.

I'll cut to the chase.

Those Mexican cunts stole my ring. Something that meant a lot to me and will probably make them $20. Fucking shit-eating dick-swallowing Mexicans. I swear to God. This is how this shit happens.

Although, maybe it's carpet cleaners in general. Next time, I'm getting fucking white people and we'll see how that goes.

How about that

I was reading this story on the internet:

"Meet Vince Shlomi. He's probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers. Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room."

Huh.

I didn't know he sold food processors.

Good vs Evil Pt.2

I figured out my disguise. I'm a sweet, sensitive guy that wants to settle down and have kids. I want to raise them to be just like me. I want to be a large part of their lives. This does not seem to be a typically devilish plan.

For my entire life I have not resembled my siblings. I have figured out that it is because I was substituted in for the child that was supposed to be born. Not exactly an easy task, I assume. Therefore, my drive to have children is merely the set up for a brilliant plan. By having children I will open a gateway for more of the Devil's agents to enter this world. Not only is it not the will of God that drives me to want to procreate, but it is actually subverting God's will.


I'm getting kind of bored of this whole story. I know it's probably just a series of things going wrong, but I like having reasons.
'Things suck 'cause they do' isn't the most comforting conclusion even if it is the most accurate.

Good vs Evil

This old question has a fairly obvious answer: be good. Always choose good over evil if you are conflicted. But I think this only counts if you're in the middle.

I have recently discovered that I am not in the middle. I've suspected it for a long time, but it is now quite obvious that I was, in fact, created as an agent of evil. So my question now is this: Is it better to defect from evil and throw my self at the mercy of good, or do I obey my nature and continue this path of evil?

Let me clarify. I don't eat babies. I don't murder baby animals for sport. I pretty much steer clear of the whole harming infants scene. However, I do seem to have a tendency to corrupt women; God's women. Not on a mass scale, mind you, but more like a secret agent hidden under the disguise of good.

Recently, God has shown me just how mad at me he is. To say the least, it's a doozy. So, can I really expect Him to forgive me? And if so, won't the Devil be equally pissed? Even if it could happen, I'd have to keep my nose pretty fucking clean to avoid certain rapture. If I were to be cast from under the wing of God, I'm sure the Devil would no longer employ my service, but submit me to eternal torture of the most terrible calibre.

Then, on the other hand, whose to say that a lifetime of servitude will reward me pardon from the eternal torment of hell?

Tough call.

The Big Bang Theory

Okay, so I've heard varying opinions on this show and I figured it was high time I gave it a try.


I hate jumping into the middle of things, so I started at the beginning with the pilot which my best mate absolutely hated. And I concur. It was entirely too convoluted. Much of the science (which seems to be the big selling point to what I assume are non-scientists that want to look smart when they laugh at the "jokes") is taken way too far. Sheldon, the tall, skinny, socially inept "nerd," tends to spend most of his time expressing the logic inadequacy of human social interaction. In other words, he's a twat. I understand that his role is to hamper the honest main character, Leonard, but the secondary characters Howard (a self professed intellectual/loverboy) and Raj (who can't talk to girls).

Howard and Raj, the secondary characters, although extreme representations of actual personality types, are acceptable as over-the-top backup characters. Sheldon, however, appears to be entirely asexual, meaning that his interactions with Penny (the fulcrum of the story, God help us) are distant and standoffish. Furthermore, his interactions with his roommate begs the question why these two are even friends. I understand that Leonard needs friends. Howard is a total loser, but he brings a popular order of fun to the table (World of Warcraft, DDR, etc.). Raj is a down-to-earth friend to Leonard who, like many nerds, feels (and in this case physically is to make a point) unable to talk to girls (however, this fact is belaboured by reiteration). Leonard needs these friends. Sheldon, on the other hand, irritates Leonard and is the root of activities which Leonard is ashamed to admit that he participates in (if this was gay sex it would explain everything, not to mention make this show worth watching).

I may come back to Sheldon. He really bothers me.

Leonard seems to be trapped between a realistic portrayal of science fiction oriented intellectual and the description of "nerd" as presented by a wannabe frat boy that never made it into science or sports who just happened to open that science textbook under his can of Bud Light. He draws constant scientific analogies making sure to clearly state the discoverer of a particular theorem, he uses a lightsaber as a weapon and a flashlight, he plays Klingon Boggle, and is shy around the word "sex" but not the concept of copulation. This could easily be rectified if he showed the audience that he understood that his discourse with Penny, when scientifically charged and irrelevant, was inappropriate; just little asides from time to time: "Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle? Really?!" After all, he is supposed to have slightly better social skills than Sheldon.

The quick fix to Leonard and Sheldon is that they have to make science jokes for each other, not for the audience (who I promise don't get it... because there is nothing to get. Seriously, it's like,

"Rutherford's gold foil experiment?! I remember that shit from high school, dude! Ha ha! Funny funny shit, man..."
"He was talking about laundry."
"Yeah, but Rutherford... it's, heh, funny. Right?"

No, it's not fucking funny!). People that are actually scientifically inclined will make jokes that other people won't get. And here's the kicker: the characters have to laugh, not the laugh track. Science is rarely situationally funny; it is implicitly funny.

But back to the characters. Penny! What's her deal? "Ha ha, just ignore the big words... Keep smiling and wear low cut shirts and everyone will like me!" Seriously, girl. You don't need to have a Ph.D. but show a little bit of intelligence. What she needs to overlook is that Leonard and Sheldon don't understand how to carry out a normal conversation with a girl, not overlook their intelligence. When they get talking science, she doesn't need to pretend it's not happening, she needs to bring the boys back to normal conversation... exactly like that: "Boys! *hand lowers from eye level to chin level* Let's bring it back down to here, okay?" And then Leonard can smarten the fuck up and talk to her like a normal person.

I've blended the first episode into the second, so I'll make my distinction here. Episode 2 was less bad. I still didn't like it, but it wasn't near the total car crash that was the pilot (who produced that shit?!). It looks like maybe it will pick up a bit, but I have two major problems so far (besides the premise, characters, inapproprite gender representation and stereotypes, and the tasteless use of stereotypes of intellectuals... I don't have a list, but I should):

1. The intro. Jesus Christ is it bad. The flashy images don't even come close to matching the tempo of the music and is that Ed from BNL singing? Steven Page went to jail for possession of cocaine, but Ed truly sullied the name of the Barenaked Ladies if that's him.
2. The absolute crap commercial break CG atom thing. What the fuck is that? And what the fuck is this, the 1980s Lite? If you're going to tell me when a commercial is coming, at least have a member of the cast introduce the sponsors. Or, you know, fade to black like every normal fucking person! It's the little things.
3. I'm taking it one more subconcious level. Music. Where is it? It's distractingly absent. Listen to a show like Friends one time. When there is a scene change, there is a little music clip that automaticaly sets the mood. In fact, most every memorable TV series has some sort of music that is integrated into the show. Obviously the theme song is the bread in an awesome sandwich, but when you eat it (and thus actually enjoy it and digest it) the bread mixes with the meat of the sandwich and all the other necessary components. The Big Bang Theory is like a fiberglass sandwich and the music is the drywall that keeps it together. I suppose it keeps the network comfortable, but it does not feed the audience. I, for one, am hungry for entertainment.

(I know, it looks like 3 points, but my problems were really music and post-processing. Two problems, three examples.)

Creeping

It is so much harder to do when your intent is honest.

And to think that once I found out a girl's name, address, probable vehicle colour all from a phone number I found on the ground once. Now all I have is a name and I can't seem to find her. All I want to do is talk to her; maybe find out why she's been gone.

But I guess in today's society we just can't take the chance that good people are out there.